LAW AND CRIME

USA by Mark Rosenfelder, Australia by Chris O'Regan, Austria by Klaus A. Brunner, Brazil by Emilio Neto, Brittany (France) by Damien Erwan Perrotin, Canada & Ontario by Adam Bishop, British Columbia (Canada) by PJ Perdue, Quebec (Canada) by Valerie Bourdeau, China by the English class at the Suzhou branch of Agile Software Co, Colombia by Carlos Thompson Pinzón, England by Graham John Francis de Sales Wheeler, Finland by Johanna Laakso, France by Nicolas Duvernois, Germany by Irgend Jemand, Greece by Chris TDAQ, India by Apurva Mishra, Israel by Robin Alexander, Italy by Riccardo Distasi, Japan by Hirofumi Nagamura, Urban Mexico by Acoyani Garrido Sandoval, The Netherlands by Bas Suverkropp, New Zealand by Gareth Wilson, Nigeria by Didi, Poland by Pawel Stachura, Scotland by Geoff Eddy, South Africa by T'Mar, Sweden by Anders Janson, Turkey by Cyril Alebard, Long Island by Robert Delaney, Southern Louisiana by Andrew Chaney, Texas by Tom Wier, Yorkshire (UK) by Stephanie Bailey, Southcentral Alaska by Cherie Campbell, and the general characteristics of the First Generation Immigrant by John Smith

C

Court system & lawsuits

Bribes

Police & gun ownership

Dangerous places

Lawyers

NORTH AMERICA

U
S
A

You take a strong court system for granted, even if you don't use it. You know that if you went into business and had problems with a customer, partner, or supplier, you could take them to court.

You seriously expect to be able to transact business, or deal with the government, without paying bribes.

The police are armed, but not with submachine guns.

There's parts of the city you definitely want to avoid at night.

There sure are a lot of lawyers.

A
L
A
S
K
A

S
O
U
T
H
C
E
N
T
R
A
L

U
S
A

You take a strong court system for granted, even if you don't use it. You know that if you went into business and had problems with a customer, partner, or supplier, you could take them to court.

You seriously expect to be able to transact business, or deal with the government, without paying bribes, unless you are a high-ranking member of VECO Corporation.

The police are armed, but not with submachine guns.

There are parts of Anchorage you definitely want to avoid at night, but most other communities are too small to harbor such goings-on.

There doesn't seem to be a particularly large number of lawyers, but there are definitely a lot of tourists in the summer.

L
O
N
G

I
S
L
A
N
D

U
S
A

You hate getting called for jury duty.

 

The police are armed. There was a recent scandal where the police officers were stopping women drivers and forcing them to undress.

You probably wouldn't worry about being out at night in most places (but maybe if you're female). LI has the lowest crime rate of any metropolitan area - less than half the national average. On the other hand, unless you commute to New York City daily for your job, you consider it to be a crime infested place that you wouldn't be caught dead in - probably because you grew up listening to your parents or grandparents (who were originally city dwellers who moved to the suburbs "so their children could grow up in a decent place") constantly complain about how bad the "old neighborhood" has gotten.

There sure are a lot of TV commercials for lawyers.

L
O
U
I
S
I
A
N
A

U
S
A

Your legal system is based on the Napoleonic code, not on English common law. You take a strong (if ridiculous -- cf. Court awarding lady money for spilling McDonald's coffee in her lap) court system for granted. You find the media attention given to Texas' executing of criminals odd.

Having a public official arrested is not unusual. The idea that your governer might have mafia connections makes a lot of sense. Chiefs of Police are occasionally arrested for drug trafficking.

There's a good chance you own a gun, but you don't think you'll ever use it for anything but hunting.

 

 

T
E
X
A
S

U
S
A

You find it strange if there is a public outcry that the State would execute a convicted criminal, and might become a little curious why such events ever make the national or even world news (heck, executions are commonplace, right?).

 

There's a good chance you own a gun, though you don't think you would likely ever need one for anything but hunting for sport; there is, however, no question in your mind that anybody should be able to obtain one easily, whatever the case.

 

 

C
A
N
A
D
A

You take a strong court system for granted, even if you don't use it. You know that if you went into business and had problems with a customer, partner, or supplier, you could take them to court. You wouldn't sue for stupid things like Americans do, although you might know someone who would. You may not be aware of differences in Canadian and American law, due to American TV, but there are some. Quebec also uses French civil law, but you may be even less aware of that. You may think the Canadian constitution is a lot like the American one, even though it isn't. You probably think you have some American-style rights that you don't really have.

You seriously expect to be able to transact business, or deal with the government, without paying bribes.

The police are armed, but not with submachine guns.

There are parts of the city you would want to avoid at night. You think Canada is a lot safer than the US.

There are a lot of lawyers.

B
R
I
T
I
S
H

C
O
L
U
M
B
I
A

You know that if you went into business and had problems with a customer, partner, or supplier, you could take them to court, although it’s not a simple proposition, as Canadian law forbids frivolous lawsuits.

You never expect to have to pay bribes when transacting business, or dealing with the government.

The police are armed, but no one else is, thanks to chokingly restrictive gun-control laws.

There are parts of bigger cities you definitely want to avoid at night.

There sure are a lot of lawyers, but Canadian law prohibits them from working only for a percentage of the award money, so there are fewer lawsuits than in America.

O
N
T
A
R
I
O

C
A
N

 

 

If you live in the north or rural areas of the south you probably hunt fairly often, and dislike those in the urban south who think you are just killing innocent animals for no apparent reason.

Toronto is just like any large American city when it comes to crime. The rest of the province is pretty safe, and it is extremely shocking when a major crime happens outside of Toronto.

 

Q
U
E
B
E
C

C
A
N

 

 

The police are armed, but not with submachine guns. They are trusted, but often ridiculed as fat mustachioed doughnut eaters.

There's parts of the city you definitely want to avoid at night, but crime is fairly low and you feel safe almost everywhere.

There sure are a lot of lawyers. They wear robes in courts, no wigs though. Professionals are worthy of respect, even lawyers.

LATIN AMERICA

B
R
A
Z
I
L

You go to the courts, but only if it is a very important issue, because otherwise it is not worth the expense, the time and the trouble. Civil causes can last years, and penal causes also.

You seriously expect to be able to transact private business without paying bribes. You frown upon people who go after Government money by paying bribes to high officials, and rejoice when they are unmasked by the press. However, you are not above using your personal and family connections to speed the bureaucracy, or even tipping a police officer or some lower clerk.

The police are armed, sometimes with submachine guns. You are afraid all police are violent and crooked, but at the same time you would rather have them around.

There's parts of the city you would not be caught dead at night except in the company of a local who knows his way around.

There sure are a lot of lawyers.

C
O
L
O
M
B
I
A

You don't take a strong court system for granted. You know that if you went into business and had problems with a customer, partner, or supplier, you could take them to court, but you have to be patient until they get a verdict.

You expect to be able to transact business, or deal with the government, without paying bribes-- but this has not been the norm. However, if you attempt to bribe a traffic policeman, the worst thing you expect is that the officer declines gently, and you would be surprised if the officer prosecutes you for bribing attempt. You are still willing to use your personal connections to speed up bureaucracy.

The police are armed. Street police do not usually bare submachine guns, but rural police do.

There's parts of the city you definitely want to avoid at night. There are also parts of the city and the countryside you definitely want to avoid in bright daylight.

There are too many lawyers. Mainly because you don't usually need them. Lawyers insist in being called "doctor" just after under-graduate school. Well, not only lawyers.

M
E
X
I
C
O

U
R
B
A
N

Your impossible dream is to have a court system like the USA's. It's indeed rare for you to take someone to the court because you had problems with that person.

It's impossible to transact business, or deal with the government, unless you bribe the people.

The police are armed with shotguns, Magnums and sometimes submachineguns.

There are parts of the city you definitely want to avoid at night.

There are lots of lawyers.

EUROPE

A
U
S
T
R
I
A

You take a strong court system for granted, even if you don't use it. You know that if you went into business and had problems with a customer, partner, or supplier, you could take them to court. However, it could be a long process, and you know you can't sue people for every stupid thing that's actually entirely your own fault, much to the disappointment of lawyers.

You seriously expect to be able to transact business, or deal with the government, without paying bribes. In some cases, subtle nonmonetary forms of bribing may be helpful.

The police are armed with pistols. They don't keep shotguns, heavy mortars, or ICBMs in their cars. Outside of larger towns, the police is called Gendarmerie, which is just one of the French words that are quite frequently used in Austrian German.

The idea of "dangerous parts of town" strikes you as rather odd, and unless you're a paranoid elderly citizen, you wouldn't be afraid of walking anywhere at night. You might feel a bit insecure if you're female and walking alone in certain areas, though.

Lawyers exist. Most law students end up in government offices, though.

F
I
N
L
A
N
D

You find Americans ridiculous with their primary reflex to sue whenever they can get away with it, even if it is their fault.

You seriously expect to be able to transact business, or deal with the government, without paying bribes. You wouldn't dream of trying to bribe a policeman. (What for?)

The police are armed, but not with submachine guns.

If you live in Helsinki, there are some parts of the city you maybe want to avoid at night, if you are a female walking alone.

You also watch TV serials featuring American lawyers and court dramas, and know the American court practices far better than the Finnish ones.

F
R
A
N
C
E

You find Americans ridiculous, if not stupid or dangerous, with their primary reflex to sue whenever they can get away with it, even if it is their fault (typical example: trying to dry a dog in a micro-wave oven and suing because there's not warning that it shouldn't be done).

You seriously expect to be able to transact business, or deal with the government, without paying bribes.

The police are armed, but not with submachine guns.

There's parts of the city you definitely want to avoid at night.

 

B
R
I
T
T
A
N
Y

F
R

You take a strong court system for granted, even if you don't use it. You know that if you went into business and had problems with a customer, partner, or supplier, you could take them to court.

You seriously expect to deal with the administration without having to give a bribe.

The police are armed, but not with submachine guns. If you are a rural, you probably have a hunting rifle. If you live in town, you probably never thought about buying a weapon. You think that firearms should be strictly controled by the state.

There's parts of the city you where you walk carefully at night.

There aren't that many lawyers, and you will need them only if you go to court, not for a business deal.

G
E
R
M
A
N
Y

You take a strong court system for granted, even if you don't use it. You know that if you went into business and had problems with a customer, partner, or supplier, you could take them to court.

You seriously expect to be able to transact business, or deal with the government, without paying bribes.

The police are armed, but not with submachine guns. On the other hand, you don't expect to hear a "right to bear arms" seriously defended.

There's parts of the city you definitely want to avoid at night.

You know lawyers mainly from American TV series. For that reason you might know the American justice system better than your own.

G
R
E
E
C
E

You trust the court system, even if you don't use it. You know that if you went into business and had problems with a customer, landlord, supplier, or the state itself, taking them to court would be easy. But it could take months or years until a final decision is reached.

You can't seriously expect to be able to transact business, or deal with the officials, by paying bribes. But of course there are exceptions. Some friends in the right places would help, of course.

The police are armed and have submachine guns in some parts of the big cities.

If you live in Athens, there are parts of the city you would want to avoid at night -especially if you are alone. You don't have this problem in the rest of the country.

There sure are a lot of lawyers in your country-- AND a lot of jokes about them, too.

I
T
A
L
Y

You take a strong court system for granted. You know that if you went into business and had problems with a customer, partner, or supplier, you could take them to court, but it would take quite a long time to obtain justice. On the other hand, criminal justice can often be eluded if you are powerful and rich enough. As a last resort, get elected and write your own laws!

Many Americans' "I am now suing you" attitude ranges from comical to dangerous.

You seriously expect to be able to transact business, or deal with the government, without political backing? Hehe... As for actual bribes, they are getting to be rarer.

The police are armed, but not with submachine guns. You make jokes about the Carabinieri (one of the Police forces, the military one). These jokes are virtually identical to English jokes on the Irish or French jokes on the Belgians.

There's parts of the city you definitely want to avoid at night. The American crime situation looks unexplicably primitive to you.

 

N
E
T
H
E
R
L
A
N
D
S

You take a strong court system for granted, even if you don't use it. You know that if you went into business and had problems with a customer, partner, or supplier, you could take them to court.

You are shocked if anyone offers you a bribe, or asks for one.

The police are armed, but not with submachine guns. You think it ridiculous that any private person would want to have a firearm. The government should protect you against such people.

There's parts of the city you where you walk carefully at night.

There aren't that many lawyers, and you will need them only if you go to court, not for a business deal.

P
O
L
A
N
D

The court system is inefficient and congested. You know that if you went into business and had problems with a customer, partner, or supplier, you could take them to court, but it would be no good, so you prefer out-of-court settlements.

There is a general opinion that bribes are necessary in doing business and in dealing with the government. Few people would know how to give a bribe, though. Small gifts and a friendly chat will help a lot.

The police are armed, but not with submachine guns. They can only shoot at criminals after warning them repeatedly, and shooting into the air. This is silly.

There's parts of the city you definitely want to avoid at night.

There sure are a lot of lawyers. You see them if you get divorced, or if you are involved in a dispute over an inheritance.

S
W
E
D
E
N

You take a reliable court system for granted, even if you do not use it. You guess that if you went into business and had problems with a customer, partner, or supplier, you could take them to court. If you went out of business you would certainly end up in court.

You seriously expect to be able to transact business, or deal with the government, without paying bribes.

The police are armed, but not normally with submachine guns.

There may be parts of the city you want to avoid at night.

There is not such a lot of lawyers. If you are not in the legal profession, not terribly rich, not divorced and not a criminal, you probably do not know one.

E
N
G
L
A
N
D

U
K

You take a strong court system for granted, even if you don't use it. You know that if you went into business and had problems with a customer, partner, or supplier, you could take them to court.

You seriously expect to be able to transact business, or deal with the government, without paying bribes.

The police are certainly not armed. This is England, for God's sake, not 1930s Chicago!

There's parts of the city you definitely want to avoid at night.

Being a lawyer is still (just about) an honourable profession. Barristers still wear gowns and wigs.

Y
O
R
K
S
H
I
R
E

U
K

You take a strong court system for granted, even if you don't use it. You know that if you went into business and had problems with a customer, partner, or supplier, you could take them to court.

You seriously expect to be able to transact business, or deal with the government, without paying bribes.

The police are certainly not armed. This is England, for God's sake, not 1930s Chicago! If you are older you may longingly hark back to the days when the police were allowed to give misbehaving youths 'a clip round the earhole'.

 

Being a lawyer is still (just about) an honourable profession. Barristers still wear gowns and wigs.

S
C
O
T
L
A
N
D

U
K

You would like to think of the legal system as strong and just, but know that it often isn't. You know that if you went into business and had problems with a customer, partner, or supplier, you could take them to court.

You seriously expect to be able to transact business, or deal with the government, without paying bribes, although your competitors seem to get away with it sometimes.

The police are not armed.

There's parts of the city you'd certainly never go to at night unless you have a trusted local with you.

There sure are a lot of lawyers.

AUSTRALIA AND NEW ZEALAND

A
U
S
T
R
A
L
I
A

You take a strong court system for granted, even if you don't use it. You know that if you went into business and had problems with a customer, partner, or supplier, you could take them to court.

You seriously expect to be able to transact business with the government, without paying bribes.

 

There's parts of the city you probably want to avoid at night.

Lawyers wear wigs and gowns. They're nowhere near as ubiquitous as in the U.S.

N
E
W

Z
E
A
L
A
N
D

You take a strong court system for granted, even if you don't use it. You know that if you went into business and had problems with a customer, partner, or supplier, you could take them to court.

You seriously expect to be able to transact business, or deal with the government, without paying bribes.

The police are not routinely armed, but they can get a gun fairly easily.

There might be parts of the city you want to avoid at night, depending on the city.

Lawyers spend their time either cheating people out of their life savings or defending criminal scumbags. Barristers recently stopped wearing wigs and gowns.

ASIA

I
N
D
I
A

You have a court system which is relatively clean and just, but immensely slow. Moreover the illiteracy and poverty of most people and the corruption of administrative and law-enforcement officials make justice-for-all a distant dream.

You never ever expect to be able to transact business, or deal with the government, without paying bribes.

The police are typically not armed, unless they are guarding VVIPs, in which case they might tote submachine guns.

There's parts of the city you definitely want to avoid at night.

There are some lawyers; they do not particularly make a lot of money.

C
H
I
N
A

 

 

The police are armed, but in most cases, don't use weapons.

There's parts of the country you definitely want to avoid, period.

You don't think you will need a lawyer during your lifetime.

J
A
P
A
N

You take a strong court system for granted, although you won't use it. You know that if you went into business and had problems with a customer, partner, or supplier, you could take them to court-- but you wouldn't, because the system is way too slow, and being involved in a suit isn't exactly good for your reputation.

You expect to be able to transact business, or deal with the government, without paying bribes. Of course, some entertaining and gift-giving may be necessary, but you certainly wouldn't consider this a bribe.

The police are armed, but not with submachine guns. It genuinely puzzles you why Americans insist on owning guns and frequently use them on each other.

There's parts of the city you won't go to unless you're in the company of a knowledgable local.

You know lawyers exist, but you've never seen one in person.

AFRICA AND THE MIDDLE EAST

N
I
G
E
R
I
A

You don't trust the courts because you know it all comes down to money and connections. Sometimes violence is the only way to end a business dispute. You believe all laws are made NOT to be obeyed.

You don't seriously expect to be able transact business or deal with a politician without paying bribes.

The police are armed but for entirely different reasons.

You want to avoid every part of the city at night. The Harmattan (the dry, dusty wind that blows off the Sahara each year from November through March) signals a dramatic increase in crime rates.

Being a lawyer is not having a real job.

S
O
U
T
H

A
F
R
I
C
A

Due to the amount of American TV you watch, you know American court proceedings better than your own. You can recite the Miranda warning as smoothly as any cop on TV.

You expect to be able to transact business or deal with the government without paying bribes. You sometimes do have to pay bribes, but afterwards you blow the whistle to the media about "the corruption in our country".

The police are armed, but not with machine guns. The criminals have the machine guns.

There sure are a lot of criminals. If you live in any big city in South Africa, you won't go into the CBD (central business district) at night. Or in the day. You're shocked when thieves steal the copper telephone cables. You know how in America they have "gang wars"? In South Africa you have "taxi wars". Yes, complete with machine guns and innocent bystanders getting killed.

 

I
S
R
A
E
L

You don't hold much stock in the court system and would hesitate before suing someone, because you imagine that delays and bureacracy would not make it worthwhile. In fact, although in general you respect Americans and American culture, you ridicule Americans for suing at every opportunity.

You should be able to transact business, or deal with the government, without paying bribes, but nothing helps things along like a little "protectsia", or connections. The general attitude is that many, if not all, rules are made to be broken, or at least gotten around if necessary.

You think of the police as largely powerless and somewhat useless, but the army as all-powerful and deserving of respect.

There are few areas of the city that you really need to avoid at night.

 

T
U
R
K
E
Y

You dread the court system, even if you don't use it. You know that if you went into business and had problems with a customer, landlord, or supplier, taking them to court would be an ordeal that could take months or years.

You can't seriously expect to be able to transact business, or deal with the officials, without paying bribes.

The police have submachine guns, of course.

If you live in Istanbul, there are parts of the city you definitely want to avoid at night.

The lawyers in your country speak funny. There sure are a lot of them but you don't understand what they do.

SUBCULTURES

1
S
T

G
E
N

I
M
M
I
G
R
A
N
T

Since in a few cases you were on the wrong side of the law for whatever reason, you are in 2 minds about whether a strong court system is desirable. However, you know that you will not instigate its use. You are happy to discover that if, in the hypothetical event of you going into business and having problems with a customer, partner, or supplier, you could take them to court -- but you probably wouldn't because it is not your system and you think that the scales are probably weighted against you. You have learned from long experience, and try to live up (or down) to the motto: 'Keep a low profile and you won't get your head knocked / shot / cut off!'

You are grateful to be able to transact business, or deal with the government, without paying bribes. If you come from the third world, bribes were frequently the principal source of income for public servants. However, in the developed world, architects who want to get their building permit applications pulled from the bottom to the top of the in-tray pile, often take a box of chocolates or carton of cigarettes to smooth the process (called: greasing the wheels that grind 'exceeding slow').

Unfortunately, in many of the countries immigrants are attracted to (Britain seeming to be the exception), the police are visibly armed. If you are an illegal, first generation migrant, with no valid papers, then you try to keep out of their way, skulking in side streets or mingling with crowds of similar looking people. Otherwise, if you have valid papers you try your best not to commit a felony where any armed police officer might feel it expedient to use his weapon in your direction.

There are parts of the city that are considered unsafe, but you probably live in them since it is all you can afford.

You know lawyers exist (if you're an illegal you probably needed one to get out of being deported) but your command of the language is still not good enough to understand their 'legalese' jargon. So you just grin and bear any slight you feel you may have been a victim of.

< Culture Menu
 Back to Robert's Page 
Next Page >

Blue Ribbon Campaign for Online Freedom of Speech, Press, and Association Dialect Map of American English  -  My Stories  -  Shakespeare's History Plays  -  Long Island Theatre Calendar  -  Seven Wonders of the World  -  Magic Trick Counter since November 1, 2009