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C | Amount of vacation time | Topless & nude beaches | Hotel rooms with private baths | Popular travel destinations & recreational activities | ||
NORTH AMERICA | ||||||
U | You count yourself fortunate if you get three weeks of vacation a year. | If you're a woman, you don't go to the beach topless. | A hotel room has a private bath. |
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A | You count yourself fortunate if you get three weeks of vacation a year. | If you're a woman, you don't go to the beach topless. You typically wouldn't go to the beach in anything less than pants and a windbreaker, anyway. | A hotel room has a private bath. | Even if you do not fish as a career, you go any chance that you get, and fish and other seafood are a sizeable part of your diet. Going down to the Lower 48 (you've probably even slipped up at times and stated that you're "going to the US") can be a lot of fun; they have more cultural events available there, and the fast life can be more exciting. Alaska can seem restrictive at times. If you vacation in the Lower 48 in the summer, you are amazed and frustrated at how dark it gets - even when the summer sun sets in Alaska, twilight lingers for long hours, so that it never truly gets dark. You love Hawai'i. Being just five hours straight south, it offers a fantastic refuge from the darkness and cold of the Alaskan winter, with minimal jet lag and time change. You have probably vacationed in Hawai'i for Christmas, Thanksgiving, or Spring Break (which of course is still in the middle of winter for you), or know someone who has. You especially love getting a tan and showing it off, because Alaskans turn bone-white during the winter. There are definitely a lot of tourists in the summer. You tolerate the tourists (unforgivable though their driving habits may be) but make jokes about them. You consider yourself more aware of your vulnerability to the power of nature - and thus more respectful of it, than most other Americans - and you are amazed at the foolishness of some tourists who "want to get close to the bears" or something. | ||
L | Vacation time varies based on what kind of job you have and how long you've been working there. | If you're a woman, you don't go to the beach topless. You've heard rumors that there's a nude beach somewhere on Fire Island (along LI's south shore), but you've never been to it, although you have been to one of the many regular beaches there. You don't automatically associate the area with gay people. | You would be shocked if you went to another country and found that your hotel room did not have a private bath. | You've probably never been to New York City, although you may have been to places much farther away. You don't understand what all the fuss about the Hamptons is - probably because you're not rich enough to get into the kinds of places that the upscale New York City people love so much (or to even know where they are). You might make a day trip to one of the touristy sections, but there are plenty of more nearby, local beaches for you to choose from. | ||
L | You count yourself pretty fortunate to get 3 weeks of vacation a year. | If you're a woman, you don't go to the beach topless, but you might flash someone to get beads at Mardi Gras parades. |
| You've seen a swamp but you'd never want to stay there very long. | ||
T |
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| You have probably never actually seen a desert before in person. | ||
C | You count yourself fortunate if you get three weeks of vacation a year. | If you're a woman, you don't go to the beach topless. | A hotel room has a private bath. | You might go to Europe, but you'd probably just go to a different part of Canada, or to the US (but not if the Canadian dollar is very low compared to the American dollar). Retired people tend to spend their winters in Florida ("snowbirds"). | ||
B | You probably get at least two weeks of vacation a year. You do, however, get more paid holidays in a year than Americans. | If you're a woman, you can go to the beach topless, if you know where the clothing-optional beaches are. In some cities, toplessness is legal even at public swimming pools, having been challenged in the courts. | A hotel room has a private bath. | When abroad, you have a cold fear that somebody might mistake you for an American. You make a point of deliberately being kind to locals just to make it clear you are a Canadian. | ||
O |
| The law in Ontario allows women to walk around topless on the street, but they tend not to. |
| It is easy, although not necessarily cheap because of the low value of the Canadian dollar, to go to the US for vacation. You can go there for a day or a weekend, if you just want to cross the border and come back (since you probably live in southern Ontario the border is never more than a few hours away, and in some cases it is just minutes away). You could travel to the East or the West for vacation, or head up north, where you might have a cottage. Niagara Falls, Ontario, is, in your opinion, much better than Niagara Falls, New York. You see Americans in Ontario all the time, and, even though you are only separated from the US by a lake or a river, they still seem to think they can come skiing here in the summer. Victoria Day is usually referred to as "May 2-4" even when it doesn't happen to fall on May 24th....if you are younger, this is because you are actually talking about the case of beer that you will drink during that holiday. The Civic Holiday in August is called Simcoe Day in Ontario. You have been to War of 1812 historical site. If you live in or around Toronto you have been to a site or building that has some connection to the Rebellion of 1837, but maybe not on purpose (there are lots of them up and down Yonge Street - or Highway 11 - for example). If you live in the north or rural areas of the south you probably hunt fairly often, and dislike those in the urban south who think you are just killing innocent animals for no apparent reason. | ||
Q | You get at least two weeks of vacation a year, and a quarter of the working population opts to take the last two weeks of July, a period called vacances de la construction because it is one of the working conditions construction workers are entitled to since the 70s. | Women have a right to be topless in public, but it's a purely symbolic perk. |
| You like to be around other Québécois when on vacation, especially in foreign countries, so you tend to hang out in Québec ghettos in places like Hollywood, FL and Old Orchard, ME when in the USA. You cheerfully go to vacation to Cuba, and are surprised when you learn of the embargo. You can catch incredible fireworks every week all summer at La Ronde, in Montreal, for the Benson and Hedges fireworks competition. If you live in Montreal, it is likely that you watch them every week from your balcony. | ||
LATIN AMERICA | ||||||
B | You have four weeks of vacation guaranteed by law. You can sell half of it back to your boss. | If you're a woman, you don't go to the beach topless, unless maybe in some deserted spots. Exceptions to this rule are the prostitutes that hunt for tourists at some famous beaches. | A hotel room has a private bath. | You plan to visit the capitals of the main nations of Europe sometime. | ||
C | You expect to have three weeks of vacation a year. | If you're a woman, you don't go to the beach topless. | A hotel room has a private bath, and, in warm weather, they usually have air conditioning, or at least some ventilation system. Some cooling is needed but Hotels often overreact. |
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M | You have lots of vacations: Semana Santa vacations (the Easter Week plus the week before), Christmas vacations (2 1/2 weeks) and summer vacations (1 1/2 month). | If you're a woman, you never go to the beach topless. | A hotel room has a private bath. | You spend your Semana Santa vacations at the beach, your Christmas vacations with your family, and your summer vacations anywhere. If you have videogames, you probably own a Sony Playstation2 or a Nintendo Gamecube. The Xbox was introduced in Mexico in November 2002 and thus it's not very popular. Sega Dreamcast, don't even bother. PC games are rather popular, especially FPS like Half-Life Counter-Strike and do-what-you-want games like Grand Theft Auto 3. | ||
EUROPE | ||||||
A | You get about four to five weeks of vacation a year. You complain it's not enough. | If you're a woman, you may go to the beach topless. Not really a big deal, at least in most places. | A hotel room has a private bath, unless it's a very cheap hotel. You are used to having no separate taps for hot and cold water as well as a device to mix it to just the right temperature, and you can easily drink from it; you will complain loudly when you encounter a British washbasin for the first time. | You miss decent dark bread, decent strong coffee, and decent, well, beery beer whenever you leave Central Europe. | ||
F | You have a vacation of at least a month a year and you do take it, preferably in July (although it is generally complained that "in Europe" nobody has vacations of more than a week and we should follow that trend). | If you're a woman, you perhaps occasionally go to the beach topless (depending on which beach). |
| You spend it at your summer cottage, bathing in the sauna and swimming in the lake, or visiting the numerous summer events every village in Finland has, from opera festivals to world championships in wife-carrying or rubberboot-throwing. In winter, you take a week or a prolonged weekend to travel to the Mediterranean or the Canary Islands. If you are younger than 60, you won't take a supply of Finnish meat balls and sausages with you... Being deep in a forest, with no houses, cars or people in sight, is something pleasant and natural, there is nothing magical (as for Germans), romantic or frightening (as for many Central or South Europeans) about it. | ||
F | You do take your 5 annual legal vacation weeks, and you consider yourself fortunate if you don't spend them at home. | If you're a woman and pretty enough, you perhaps occasionally go to the beach topless. |
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B | You consider it normal to get five weeks of vacation a year, and you shall soon work 35 hours a week. | If you're a woman, going topless at the beach is not uncommon. | A pricy hotel room has a private bath, a cheap one has a bathroom in the corridor. | You are proud of your music festivals, especially the FIL (and you know what it is), and of the fact they draw hundreds of thousands of peoples without getting any aid from Paris. If you are young, or even not so young, you may go to "fest noz", night parties where you indulge in group dancing while listening to bagpipe music. This kind of party, created some thirty years ago, is quite popular (especially among young people). | ||
G | You count on getting three to six weeks of vacation a year. | If you're a woman, you might go to bathing places at lakes topless (especially in the east); perhaps even to the beach. There are special FKK (Freikörperkultur-- 'free body culture') beaches where no one is allowed to wear clothes (to discourage voyeurs). | A hotel room has a private bath. | You probably spend your vacation on a Mediterranean beach. If you like noise and really drunken people, there's nothing better than Ballermann 6 in Mallorca (originally Balneario 6, but who can pronounce that?). The more refined go on 'cultural holidays' in countries with warm climates and watchable folklore. | ||
G | You expect to have at least three weeks of vacation a year. | If you're a woman, you don't go to the beach topless, unless you're in great shape. |
| There are many dance parties and raves all over the country (especially in the summer). For older generations, there is an abundance of paniyiria (that is local fairs) with folk music, folk cuisine and lots of cold beer. You gamble like crazy. You also bet on soccer games about 2-5 times a week. Traditionally, you never get a break. | ||
I | You get about 30 days of vacation a year, most of which in August. | If you're a woman, you can go to the beach topless -- you'll draw a few looks if you're in good shape, otherwise why are you doing that? | A hotel room has a private bath. | You are proud of Italian cuisine, wines, Ferraris and fashion designers. Furthermore, italian pop music is the only one worth a listen here in the EU (apart from the UK, of course). And then there are Rome, Florence, Pompei, Venice, Capri ... | ||
N | You consider four weeks of vacation a year normal, and in many professions count on a 36-hour working week. | If you're a woman, going topless at the beach is an option, but usually restricted to the young and small-breasted. There are nude beaches, and while you may not visit them, you don't think it unusual for people to take their children to one. | A pricy hotel room has a private bath, a cheap one has a bathroom in the corridor. | France is a great place for summer vacation, and you like their cheese and wine. | ||
P | You count yourself fortunate if you get three weeks of vacation a year. Most people will have two weeks. Given the tight labor market, it's advisable to give up your vacation in this and in the next year. | If you're a woman, you don't go to the beach topless. | A hotel room has a private bath. |
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S | You get at least five weeks of vacation a year. | If you are a woman, you can sit at the beach topless if you care to, though I find it is not much done anymore, but you would probably put something on to go and buy an ice cream. | A hotel room has a private bath. |
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E | You count yourself fortunate if you get four weeks of vacation a year. | If you're a woman, you might go to the beach topless. |
| If you're middle-class, you may often holiday in France; if working-class, you'll probably prefer Spain or the Spanish islands. | ||
Y |
| If you're a woman, you might go to the beach topless, but, as the beach in question is often on the North Sea coast, a cardigan would be more appropriate. |
| If you're middle-class, you may often holiday in France; if working-class, you'll probably prefer the North Sea coast, staying in a caravan in Skegness, Cleethorpes or Bridlington. If you do go abroad you favour Spain or the Spanish islands. | ||
S | You are probably allowed four or five weeks of holiday a year, and your boss is equally probably allowed to ask you not to take it all. | If you're a woman, you might go to the beach topless on holiday, but never at home. | A hotel room has a private bath if you pay extra for it. | You have gone to England a few times on holiday. | ||
AUSTRALIA AND NEW ZEALAND | ||||||
A | You're lucky to get four weeks of vacation a year. | If you're a woman, you might go to a secluded beach topless. You'd be shocked by the idea of anyone wearing "thongs" on something other than their feet. |
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N | Everyone gets at least three weeks holiday a year. | If you're a woman, you certainly wouldn't go to the beach topless. |
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ASIA | ||||||
I | Vacations may be any length of time as per economic conditions. There is no standard length of vacation time; it depends on one's livelihood. | If you're a woman, you are very modest with your dress. | A hotel room has a private bath. | Vacations usually consist of visiting relations. (American-style "getaway" vacations are unheard of). Street plays or shows, singing and dancing are very popular, especially in the countryside. Many of these take place at fairs or festivals. | ||
C | You get seven days vacation every Spring Festival, National Day and Labor Day. | If you're a woman, you don't go to the beach topless. | A hotel room has a private bath and a toilet. | During vacations, you can travel to other cities or go home to stay with your family. If you are female, you played "Chinese jump rope" as a child; if you are male, you knew how to use a slingshot. | ||
J | You probably get about a week's vacation for the New Year and a few days around Bon (a Buddhist festival in mid-August, when your ancestors return to this world). In addition, there are quite a few National Holidays -- you probably get about a week off in the so-called Golden Week, where four holidays are crammed together (Apr. 29th, May 3rd, 4th, and 5th). | If you're a woman, you don't go to the beach topless. | A hotel room has a private bath. On the other hand, traditional Japanese-style inns have cavernous common baths. | You've been to Tokyo Disneyland at least once, and perhaps to the new Universal Studios Japan as well. You think they are wonderful. (Cultural imperialism? What is that?) | ||
AFRICA AND THE MIDDLE EAST | ||||||
N | Vacation? What vacation? What you really need is a job! | If you're a woman you don't go to the beach topless unless you're asking to be raped. | Most of us have never seen the inside of a hotel room. |
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S | You have a vacation of three weeks per year. | If you're female, you probably wouldn't go to the beach topless. To go naked, you'd have to visit Sandy Bay. However, you do think that some traditional African dress, which involves women going topless, is beautiful. You make sure to put on lots of sunblock because the African sun is brutal. |
| You spend your vacation at the coast if possible. Or in the mountains or a game reserve. You wouldn't stay home. | ||
I | You get a few weeks vacation a year (2-3), but get all the Jewish holidays off in addition. | If you're a woman, you don't go to the beach topless. Only European tourists do that. | A hotel room has a private bath. | You spend much of your free time socializing with friends and family, over shared meals, at parties, or in cafes or restaurants. You rarely go to a bar, and you rarely drink more than an occasional glass of wine or beer over dinner. You make fun of Americans and English/Irish people who seem to need alcohol to have a good time. | ||
T | You are unaware that you have more official and not-so-official vacations than any country in Europe. How long? | If you're a woman, you don't go to the beach topless. Unless you're in a different country. You are always overdressed, even when you go grocery shopping. | A hotel room has a private bath. | Nowadays, vacation mostly means running out of town so that you can avoid visits by boring relatives. | ||
SUBCULTURES | ||||||
1 | If you are a migrant in good faith (from now on we'll assume that the immigrant is looking for a job and is not a fledgeling criminal) with the requisite papers, then the idea of a mandatory holiday period is the least of your worries. You want to find a job first and then start bellyaching about holidays once you've settled in and become just an anonymous face in the workforce. Nevertheless, you benefit from the standard holiday quota. | If you're a woman on the beach, just copy what the others are doing so as not to attract too much attention to yourself. However, if you are (visibly) a muslim female, it is best to stay fully dressed. | A hotel room has a private bath (but you couldn't afford that room). Your hotel room has a shared toilet at the other end of the corridor, a communal bath two floors down, and a grimy wash basin in your room where somebody suffering from allopecia has left their greasy hair blocking up the plug hole . On the other hand, since you hanker after your own apartment you are prepared to put up with it for the time being. | You save to go home on a regular basis (depending on the distance: once every couple of years is a reasonable average). If you come from southern Europe, you go 'home' by coach (a 40 hr trip each way) once every year or so. If further afield, you save what you can after deducting remittances that keep the fires buring back home, and take a plane or boat loaded down with 'impossible to find' goodies to make the 'folks back home' green with jealousy and eternally in your debt (and anyway, it's good for the soul to play Lord Bountiful once in a while). In the meantime, you hang around pubs (if you are anglo-saxon), exotic cafés playing backgammon (if you are from N. Africa or middle east); playing football on a threadbare piece of open land (if you are a S. European or S. American); join a church group (if American) ... in fact anything to give you your daily fix of 'home comfort' for the soul. |
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